Before we dive into this one, I want to start by saying, this post is not about shaming you if you drink alcohol or trying to convince you that you shouldn’t drink. I’m certainly not here to make you feel bad about having a glass of wine at the end of the day. My whole reason for starting Moved by Motherhood, was to help moms feel a little more seen, encouraged, and supported. So this is me simply sharing my experience. I’ve also been asked a few times why I don’t drink anymore, so I figured I’d just write about it in case anyone else was wondering!

I Stopped Drinking Before I Had Kids

My decision to stop drinking actually happened before I ever became a mom. My husband and I got married in the spring of 2022 and just a few months later, we found out we were pregnant with our first son. We went on our honeymoon in Maui, one of my favorite places to visit and it was absolutely amazing.

I remember sitting at dinner one night, probably drinking Mai Tais and we started talking about when we wanted to start our family. I remember saying something along the lines of:

“When we decide we’re ready to start trying, I’m not going to drink anymore.”

And I stuck to it. For me, that decision came from a combination of being pretty health-conscious and, if I’m being honest, a little anxious.

In my mind, if I stopped drinking and started taking my prenatal vitamin even before I was pregnant, I would be doing everything I could to increase our chances of having a healthy baby. Did I actually have complete control over all of that? No, but in my mind I did.

Then I Became a Breastfeeding Mom

After my son was born, I didn’t return to drinking because I was breastfeeding. And, honestly, breastfeeding was not easy for me in the beginning. We dealt with tongue ties, lip ties, cheek ties, latching issues, outside of birthing my son, paired with broken sleep, and my new post-partum body that still was healing, learning to breastfeed was one of the hardest things I had ever done. Once we finally got those issues taken care of, breastfeeding became easier, but I still had to put so much effort into getting enough milk to satisfy my son. Sometimes this meant pumping after I had already nursed him or “power pumping” in the middle of the night, it was a lot. I was the person who cried when I accidentally spilled breast milk, because of all of the effort it took just to get those few ounces. So the thought of pumping and dumping? It just wasn’t worth it to me.

And eventually, I stopped breastfeeding and I remember thinking:

“Okay, I guess I can have a glass of wine now!”

And let me back up, you don’t necessarily have to go cold turkey on alcohol if you are breastfeeding, for me already being anxious and health conscious, I chose to because that made me feel better. Okay, back to when I stopped breastfeeding, I did have a glass of wine one night while I was cooking dinner. And my tolerance was basically nonexistent. It didn’t take long for me to feel a little buzz which felt fun for a moment, but what quickly followed was a head ache and feeling like garbage afterwards.

We were also starting to think about trying for our second baby soon, so continuing not to drink just made sense to me.

Then Came Baby Number Two

Fast-forward to having my second son. I breastfed him, and once again, I didn’t drink while I was nursing. Eventually, I finished breastfeeding. And I thought, Okay. Here’s my opportunity again.

There was a wine spritzer in my refrigerator that a friend had left at our house. I took maybe two sips. And I couldn’t even finish it. It honestly tasted awful to me. I almost felt like I had developed an aversion to alcohol after going so long without it. And in that moment, I thought:

“You know what? I don’t think I want to drink alcohol right now.”

I didn’t really like the taste, I definitely didn’t like how it made me feel, and I realized that I genuinely preferred how I felt without it. .

So Why Don’t I Drink?

At this point, I’ve had so little alcohol over the past four years that I could probably count the number of drinks I’ve had on one hand. And that is not me saying, “Look at me!” it’s just where I am in this season of life.

For me, not drinking has become part of how I take care of myself too. I want to have the energy to be present with my two boys. I want to feel good physically and mentally. I want to take care of my body.  I want to show up for my husband and my family. And if I am really being honest, I would rather have those calories in the form of chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream lol 

That doesn’t mean I think everyone else needs to make the same choice. I am saying that not drinking has been the best choice for me personally. 

If You Want to Make a Change

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Honestly, I’ve been considering cutting back or stopping too,” I am going to share a few things that have helped me.

1. Get Clear on Your WHY

When you have a strong why, the how can become easier. For me, my why is simple: I want to give my family the healthiest, most present version of me.

That’s what motivates me. Your why might be completely different.

Maybe you want more energy. Maybe you don’t like how alcohol makes you feel. Maybe you’re tired of relying on that glass of wine to unwind at the end of the day. Maybe you’re preparing for a pregnancy. Maybe you simply don’t enjoy drinking as much as you used to. Whatever it is, get clear on it.

2. Tell Someone

Having your why is great, but also looping in someone you love and trust about your decision can make you feel less alone. 

For me, I told my husband and one of my best friends. The friend I told doesn’t drink either. And my husband while very supportive asked me, “Will it upset you if I have a drink?”

I’m going to add this part here too, the fact that my husband knows me well enough to ask that question shows you the type of man he is. If I would have said yes (I didn’t) he would have stopped too. He is caring, thoughtful, and supportive and I so am grateful I get to do life with him. Back to the story, I told him I didn’t mind, he didn’t drink much to begin with, and if he did it was in a social setting with friends. But, eventually he decided he did not really want to drink any more either. He also discovered non-alcoholic beers that taste just like the real thing, which have been a fun alternative for him when we are with friends.

3. Find Something You Enjoy Instead

Sometimes I think a big part of drinking is the social aspect, so simply having something in your hand to drink can make you feel included. In this season of life, I usually don’t have enough hands to hold a drink wrangling two small children, but if you do there are so many non-alcoholic options now and mocktails that are simple and easy to make. 

For me, I put some electrolytes in a cup of ice water and that is good enough! But seriously, finding something you genuinely enjoy can make social situations feel much easier.

4. Remember That You Can Change Your Mind

This one is important. Just because you make a decision today doesn’t mean you are signing a lifelong contract to never have an alcoholic beverage ever again. For me, I don’t think I will go back to drinking regularly because I genuinely don’t miss it.

But if someday I decide I want a margarita when we go out for Mexican food, I’m not going to punish myself for it. I’m an adult. I get to make my own decisions. And so do you.

Final Thoughts

I know alcohol can be a really personal topic, and I want to be mindful of that. Like I said at the very beginning, this post is not about shaming you if you drink or trying to convince you that you shouldn’t drink if you are a mom.

I’m simply sharing something that has become part of my own motherhood journey and something I’ve been asked about enough that I felt it was worth sharing.

Motherhood has changed a lot of things for me. And for me, choosing not to drink has become one small part of that. Maybe your journey looks completely different. That’s okay too. We’re all figuring this motherhood thing out as we go.

And if reading this has you thinking about your own relationship with alcohol and you feel like you might need some support, please know that you don’t have to figure it out alone. And if you’re not sure whether you “need” help, you can always start by talking with your doctor or another healthcare professional, or even a trusted friend. 

As always, I’m cheering you on, and I hope that something in my story encourages you in yours.

With Gratitude,
Angie
Moved by Motherhood